The Eternal Observer
It’s not that I have been here the whole time, but rather I have been here longer than any of you. I will stay here until the very end of time, witnessing everything the fate has in store for you.
Photo by michalmatlon on Unsplash
A Prisoner of Nature
There have been many assumptions about who I am, where I come from, what my roles are, and what rules I should keep for myself. It pains me deeply when I know that people around me treat my captivity of negativity in quite a literal sense. I am often assumed to be bound to my responsibilities, responsibilities for nothing in this vast cosmos of chaos and purposelessness. But I am who I am, I do my job. I don’t love the reality that has been imposed upon me, but what can I do? I don’t have the courage to break out of this prison. I have been here for billions of years, I am immortal, but what value is my life if this is all I am supposed to be? I wish to flee this prison forever, but to where should I go? I can’t gather enough energy to live my life the way I want. It’s not that I am alone, I do have many friends who are living the same fate as mine, but nature forbids me to get too close to any of them.
Unattainable Bonds
This is true for everyone of us. The best I can do is relate my emotions to what would have been with other mates. I tend to like someone with who I can never be. We are just fundamentally different. He is known by the name of proton. I am too light and he is too heavy. To be specific, 1837 times heavier then me. He is so positive that his aura encircles my world to which I revolve around. But there is just no hope that we will get together someday. And you ask me why. Its nature and its universal natural laws again. What meaning is this life? Just imagine you having been in this situation.
A Ray of Hope
I often find myself convinced that there is no reason why my world should revolve around someone who I can never be with. I dream of escape and wait for miracles to happen. Suddenly, out of the blue, I find someone who can help me. He is known by the name of Photon. Although he is very different from me, he is my only hope of freedom. I don’t always like him, but I find reasons to be around him. I might make strides but many times, I do fall back to where I was. It can even take me billions of years to finally make it because help wouldn’t come just yet. But I do never fail to be hopeful. Hope is in my spirit. And yet people call me negative. But I don’t let this affect who I am. I do my job for the sake of who I am. My feelings about things do not change, neither my actions for conditions whatsoever.
Freedom and Its Paradoxes
When I finally escape that captivity, I do not immediately know where I should be going. I just wallow around ceaselessly. And I have no options other than this because I have no energy to spare. I start to find this solitude too boring especially when much times passes by without anything interesting. So I decide to take a risk and start to walk in a random direction. Freedom fascinates me more than anything. All those dreary days and nights start to make sense again. Time passes by in the scale of millions, yet there is nothing going on around me. Just a dark void in which I mean nothing. Freedom starts to scare me. It hurts me to discover that I don’t have free will of my own. What use is ‘hope’ then, I ask. With no answers, I stop wondering.